Learning Experience #4: Vitality of Relationships

Through all of my course work this semester, my eyes have been consistently opened to the vital importance of relationships. Not only have I begun to see the importance of relationships between people, but also how distinctly our lives are shaped by the relationships we have with our environments, our settings, and even our ideals. As silly as it sounds, relationships are all around us. Whether we take note of it or not, how we interact in our daily lives is essential to our wellbeing and happiness. While I have been studying everything from history to math to sociology, and strategic communications, it seems that in all of these subjects, there is one common theme: relationships. Clearly throughout history, relationships between historical figures, voters, and politicians have drastically shaped the course of our nations path. Even relationships between countries have been noted on each and every page of our history books. In sociology, I learned how drastically one’s life could be altered if he or she is not nurtured by their peers. In Literature and Civilizations, I was even able to learn about the influence of laughter on the relationships we have. In math, we see how the relationships of certain numbers and methods affect the outcome we receive in our answers. Even an unsteady relationship with our environment can cause a stir in our day-to-day lives. For example, taking a test in a new area can be distracting enough to affect the score we receive. To the out of state students, it is apparent that being unfamiliar with their new environment can strongly affect their state of mind, mood, and longing for home. When the streets ice over or the thermometers reach 107 degrees, it is not uncommon for a California native to wish they were in the comfort of their consistent, warm hometown climate. A perfect example of the necessity of relationships is the BLUU. The sweet women that work in the BLUU never hesitate to remember our names or wish us well as we go about our day, and the chefs take the time to fill our tummies each and every meal. Not only that, but no one likes to eat alone, and seeing a familiar face is always refreshing. That is one of the great perks of being a TCU student, within 20 minutes of walking around the campus, one is bound to see someone her or she knows. Relationships are all around us. Furthermore, the likelihood of having a professor multiple times within a major is highly likely; therefore, maintaining strong professor/student relationships can greatly affect not only the wellbeing of the student but also the professor. Without our friends and family just steps away, maintaining trustworthy, dependable relationships with our friends is a necessity. Knowing there are people around we can depend on, particularly when our parents cannot come running, but we simply need someone to confide in. Since the day we stepped foot on campus, we have been preached to about how important it is for us to attend seminars, career nights, and public events in order to make connections with well informed people within our fields of study. The basis of all of these potential connections is relationships. Without relationships with people we know, these potential connections would not be a possibility for us in the first place. If our professors had not related to their fields of study when they were our age, they would not be able to relay their teachings to us today. Our lives are made up of a giant web of relationships. Whether we realize it or not, our past, present, and future are shaped by the people we know, the environments we live in, and the messages and beliefs that have been passed down to us for years and years. It is so important that we foster and nurture these vital relationships, because they will forever change us and the courses our lives will follow.

Laughter Described (#2): Happy Tears

            As I am sure you know, the show the ABC show, The Bachelor, is a hot topic among college age girls. We watch for months and months as the bachelor searches to find his suitor through the most exotic dates in the most beautiful, foreign places. With every season, there are the psycho girls, the sweet girls, and of course, the ones who “fall in love” after date #1 (that’s superiority theory for ya!). It is safe to say that this show would qualify as smut TV and the guilty pleasure we are all ashamed of loving; however, once you become invested in the contestants, it is so hard to turn away. The ratio of contestants who actually stay with the person they pick is very slim, but when it does work out, it feels like a win for all of the viewers. One couple in particular, Sean and Catherine, were the sweethearts of all the seasons to date. They fell in love, abided by traditional moral standards, and truly reflect a couple with their acts together. Over a year ago, Sean proposed to Catherine after having selected her from a group of 25 beautiful women. Because their journey for love was televised, they chose to also televise their wedding. The wedding aired live, and it was one of the most special, intimate ceremonies I had ever seen. Their vows were personal and as touching and memorable as possible. Now, here’s where the fun starts. So, my best friend, Nikki, came home for spring break! I was so excited to get to watch the Bachelor wedding with her. We have been following their love story via social media sense the day the show was complete. I think I should start by saying that, in our lives, it has been wedding central. Suddenly, everyone we know has been getting engaged or married. I don’t exactly know what has happened, but the wedding bug is biting all of our friends and family. With that prefaced, Nikki and I sat down to watch the wedding with my mom. All curled up with a homemade dinner in our laps, the three of us hopeless romantics oooed and ahhhed at all of the wedding bliss. As they begin to exchange their personal vows, I suddenly heard sniffling next to me. The sniffling then turned to full on sobs. Before I knew it, Nikki was erupted in tears! Now, this wasn’t your everyday “oh that’s so sweet” tears. This was as though she was just delivered the most absurdly saddening news of her life. I finally said, “What in the world is going on?” Trying to pull herself together, she explained how happy she was that everyone she knows is finding the person that they are meant to be with. Here we all are on the couch, Nikki is bawling, my mom is frustrated at the TV, and I am trying to balance the two. I have never in my life seen so many emotions in one room. All of the sudden we realized how ridiculous it was, and everyone was erupting into laughter. Things got even funnier as Nikki tried to balance her tears with her laughter. It was like a real life relief theory happening before my eyes. Naturally, my mom and I reach instantly for our cameras to try to capture Nikki’s current state on camera. This was too good to pass up. It’s not often that you see someone bawling their eyes out, while explaining how happy they are. Nikki was so emotional because and it finally hit home how special this time is for so many people that we love. We had just watched the finale of the current season, and we were all fuming mad at the result. Then, to follow it up with the wedding of one of our favorite bachelor couples was apparently just too much for our household to handle. It truly does show how emotions can get the best of you but provide some serious comic relief when things tend to get sappy. All this resulted from an ABC special. After settling all of this extreme laughter and coming back to reality, we all admitted that we would never forget how funny that moment was. Reality TV, sentimental feelings, anger, and happiness sure do result in some unforgettable moments.

So Long, Dear Friend (Conversation #6)

Today was my final conversation session with Essa. I was sad to think that I would no longer be blogging about the conversations and fun experiences that we have had while learning about each other’s lives. On the other hand, I have a found a consistent study buddy throughout this process. Just because my blogging with Essa ends here does not mean that Essa and I’s friendship has to conclude along with it. To start off the day, we deviated to the subject of our favorite TV shows. Being in college, my TV watching is minimal considering the homework that my day-to-day schedule entails; however, Essa happened to bring up one of my favorite shows of all time: Friends. When he said how much he loved Friends, I launched straight into the interesting connection that I have had with the show. Two years ago, I had both of my ankles operated on after being diagnose with a tumor. Coming to the rescue, my best friend bought me the entire set of friends DVD’s, and she watched the episodes with me for hours on end. We would laugh the pain away and sing the theme song at the top of our lungs each time a new episode began. Still to this day, we have not finished all of the episodes, but we are getting there gradually. We then began discussing our favorite characters and why they are so relatable to us. His favorite character is Joey. We both decided that what makes Joey so lovable is his naïve personality and ignorance toward much of the reality that happens around him. Essa informed me that the “Central Perk” coffee shop was created by the show’s producers. The coffee shop still exists today, and New York’s Central Park was the inspiration behind it. Come to find out, Essa also loves going camping. In Saudi Arabia, their idea of camping is largely different from ours. When they go camping, they produce everything from scratch. By this, I am not implying building a fire and making s’mores. In Essa’s family, they even set up their own electrical units for their utilities. Their favorite time of year to camp is spring, because it is the only season when they have blooming flowers. As soon as summer arrives, their surrounding areas turn quickly to sand. All seasons encompass a particularly dry climate, and sand storms are a regular occurrence. He then went on to tell us that they refer to the direction of the wind as “Haboob”. They can typically predict the wind patterns fairly accurately in Saudi Arabia, and this brought me to a story about my step dad. I explained to Essa that my step dad has always considered himself a meteorologist. My mom and I, however, have come to realize that his accuracy is subpar to say the least. Any time he says bundle up we wear tank tops! For Essa, finals are next week. He explained to me that his homework load is so heavy that he rarely has time to sit down and physically study the material, which makes mastering the content quite difficult. Finals week runs Tuesday to Thursday. He began explaining that his wife has struggled with her studying, as it takes her hours and hours to get through her reading. She went to see a doctor and found out that her vitamin D level was low. The doctor prescribed her pills to boost her vitamin D and attention span. When we met with Essa, his family had just boarded the plane to Saudi Arabia. He was sad that they left, but he was happy to know that his daughter would get to spend time with her grandmother and would be starting a new school soon. When she was in the states, Essa’s wife would tell him not to nap on the couch, but we found it hilarious when Essa said that he would “sleep wherever he wants” now that they are gone. Next, Essa showed us a diagram of his family tree. It was an app on his phone that allowed him to input the names and photos of his family members and rearrange them accordingly. It was great to be able to put faces with the names that we had heard so much about. One of his sisters went nine years without having a child and then found out she was having triplets! Next, Essa showed us how to write our names in Arabic. Their written language is extremely complicated and looks more like symbolic pictures than letters. It seemed to be a tough language to learn; however, Essa explained that learning English is just as difficult. Because their letters are very intricate, he says that using a thick edged Sharpie is the best utensil for writing in Arabic. Some portions of the letters are thick; whereas, other parts of the letters require thin, fluid strokes. They have a form of cursive in Arabic similar to that of English writing. One of the things that I appreciate most about Essa is his constant willingness and striving to connect us with his culture. Not only would he give us detailed explanations of his experiences,  but he would not proceed with a story unless he knew we were relating to what he was saying. He made us feel at home in his conversations and just like an addition to his family. I feel that my time with Essa has allowed me to open my eyes to the many cultures that make up Texas Christian University. There is so much to this campus that we are blind to. I will always remember this process as one that has shaped my worldview and allowed me to embrace the diversity within this school. The greatest part is that I have made a new friend out of this awesome journey. I cannot wait to hear more about the adventurous life of my new pal, Essa.  

Cake Galore! (Conversation #5)

This was my absolute favorite conversation yet! You can guess it… it revolved around my two favorite things: family and food. I knew that Essa’s family was close knit particularly due to their living situation. Essa has 5 brothers and 2 sisters. All of the siblings are married except for 2 of them (one of the brothers and one of the sisters). Therefore, all of the siblings are beginning to expand the family as they begin to develop individual families of their own. 7 siblings seemed like quite a bit to Kally and me, but Essa thought nothing of it. He did mention, however, that they are often busy with their families, so he mainly gets to spend time with the siblings that are not yet married. What is amazing is that all of them live together. Essa’s father’s house that we previously discussed was an expanded house that his father built on in order to give his children somewhere to live after they graduate. What I didn’t realize until this conversation was that he meant all of the children and their families! This wasn’t just a temporary apartment until they marry. This was a home for all of the siblings and their children to live in… together! Talk about quality family time. The way that Essa spoke about it made it seem as though this is a customary practice in Saudi Arabia. This is quite different here in America, but it truly serves as a reflection of how much family is valued in Saudi Arabia. Next, he started to talk to us more about one of his sisters who loves to bake. Essa mentioned that he helps his sister mix colors for decorating her pastries. At this point, I thought Essa was just being a good brother and assisting his sister in one of her hobbies. What I didn’t know was that this sister is the Einstein of baking. He began to show us some of her cakes that she has made, and Kally and I were absolutely lost for words. They were the most intricate, beautiful cakes I had ever seen. Apparently, his father constructed a room for her in their home strictly for her baking. Essentially, it is a baking studio for all of her client requests stocked with all of the baking essentials that a girl could ever dream of. One cake was designed like a Kit Kat bar and honestly looked that I was looking at a real oversized Kit Kat. This girl runs a baking mecca. I attached a link to her cakes, because you will have to see them to understand how incredible these cakes are. http://instagram.com/nona_albinali This link is to her Instagram page, which has thousands of followers. Awestruck, Kally and I assumed that she makes all of the cakes and sweets for their family occasions, but Essa says she typically just bakes for business and for her Instagram fans. Apparently, in Saudi Arabia, engagement cakes are a huge deal, which I found extremely interesting. He says that she does more engagement cakes than wedding cakes. He let us in on a little business secret: she buys her cupcakes from another store, because it is more profitable than making them herself. He called one cake the “sexy body” cake. It was shaped like a woman’s body for a baby shower. Kally and I were cracking up hearing him explain the cake. Essa says his favorite of her treats are the chocolate balls and that his sister makes them for him fairly often. She took a class in Dubai to learn how to create the straight lines of the cake. He said that it took a while to get the cake perfectly straight on the top, so in the class they even put a leveler on the top of the cake to indicate how straight across it was. The starting price on her cakes is $140 and increases with each tier and other variables of the cake. Essa also went on to mention that he tried to buy her some baking equipment here in the states. He made a great point that the companies that sold this equipment were not manufacturers in Saudi Arabia, so he refrained from buying her the equipment out of fear that they would break with no one to be able to fix them. I got a kick out the fact that Essa mentioned that all of her friends are beginning to attempt to copy her cakes. Well… once you see these cakes, you will realize that not just anyone cake create these masterpiece. This girl has truly developed an art. 

Nicknames and Speeding Tickets (Conversation #4)

Today, Kally and I met again with Essa. We discussed upcoming tests and presentations that we were nervous about. It seems like all of the test come in rounds, so we figured we would meet at union grounds and get some studying in. Essa had a presentation this week that was apparently quite a crazy experience. Originally his group had 3 members, but one of them backed out. After they started the presentation, the other group member played an unexpectedly video that lasted way longer than expected. With a 5-7 minute time limit, Essa had to speed through his portion of the presentation. Apparently, the teacher asks a question and then the students have to feed off of that question and develop justifiable, quality answers. Essa’s question was: What was your first problem you had here in the states? Essa said his legs began to shake, which we can all relate to. He then answered with a story that just fascinated Kally and me. Apparently, the police came to his apartment door at 5 am. They then informed Essa that his balcony was on fire. His neighbors told the police that they had seen Essa smoking the night before. He admitted that he had, but that he had not thrown the cigarette. This led to his presentation topic of fire prevention at home. Because Essa was formerly a fire fighter, he was well informed and knowledgeable on this topic. He explained that in the classroom there are no fire exit signs and that the escape plan should be listed throughout the room and not just near elevators. The doors open inward, which is apparently a hazard. Overall, Essa had a great presentation. Another interesting thing he mentioned was his semester is 8 weeks shorter than ours. He mentioned that this week is when his family goes back to Saudi Arabi. His wife and daughter would no longer be with him; however, he did not seem concerned about it in the slightest. I know that sounds odd, but when we would ask him if he was worried about being apart he would say no and act very indifferently about it. He mentioned that if he passes his classes, he would have to stay here to take a writing course. His take on it was that if he has to take the courses than he will do so implying that academics come first at this point in his life. He is definitely looking at the future with serendipity, which in some ways is pretty cool and admirable. He knows that getting through his current courses is going to be difficult, and I think he is acting unconcerned about his family as a way of coping with the nerves. Sometimes ignoring the problem or telling yourself you aren’t worried is the best coping mechanism there is. Apparently, when he went home over Christmas break, he insisted that his wife stay with her mom over the break and that he stay with his mom. I don’t know if they were in need of some alone time or if he felt that they should spend quality time with their individual families since they were only there for a short time. Overall, he just didn’t seem anxious to get home. He plans to stay here for spring break and wait to see his family until the summer or upon completion of his required courses. We then discussed the driving test he had to take when he got to the states. They told him that he wouldn’t have to get on the highway, which he did. This frustrated him quite a bit, and he said he almost failed the test due to the fact that he did not yield when making a left turn. Essa is apparently a wild man on the road. We asked him if he had gotten any speeding tickets since he had been in the states. Well, he sure has! He got one ticket for going between 100-110 MPH. The speed limit was 70. He attempted to justify it to us by saying that he was on the highway so it was ok. He mentioned that he was going downhill and was on the phone. This sounded like a recipe for disaster to me. The ticket cost him $220. He did say, however, that the driving rules are about the same here. One of Essa’s talents is giving visual descriptions that really help us imagine what it is he is explaining. For example, one time, he was going so quickly that the dashes on the street that separate the lines of traffic appeared as one line because he was speeding by them. He claimed to have had a speeding problem back home as well. He says the drivers are way crazier at home and that accidents often occur because no one stops at stop signs. An accident actually occurred right outside his house for that exact reason. Essa has a fascination with the meanings behind names. He had looked up Kally’s name and my name this week and shared with me that my name means priest or a rhythm of music. He could not find the meaning of Kally’s name. His name means Jesus, which is why his family calls him “J”. He said he has so many nicknames back home and that he named his daughter Dana because it means “big pearl”. His father picked the name. His wife was into the hip, modern names, but he agreed on Dana so she would choose a more classic name. Overall, we had a great time today talking with Essa and hearing all about his wild road adventures. Everyone, lookout! Essa is on the road!

Laughter Described (#1): Game Day Hydroplane

When I first think about situations involving fits of laughter, somehow I have come to realize that am always the source being laughed at. While it may seem sad, I am happy to know that my friends will always be offered an endless supply of laughter at my expense. Due to the excessive amount of tripping, slipping, wiping out, falling, and collapsing in my day-to-day life, one must only wait a matter of minutes around me if they are seeking a good laugh. I would love to say that my clumsiness is a family thing that I just so happen to have attained the gene for; however, this is not the case. Everyone in my family seems to be extremely graceful actually. My dad is quite the wake boarder, water skier, and surfer, so his sense of balance makes me believe that I may actually be adopted. Well, I’m not, so I might as well embrace it and provide comic relief for all of those around me. During finals week, I wiped out every time I went outside. This week even after a slight chill that provided slick grounds I proceed to slide down the steps of Milton Daniel. Falling up the stairs? Yes, that has happened too. Slipping on water in the BLUU with a tray of food in my hands…yep me as well! Well all of this talk about my inevitable gracefulness leads me to the epitome of my falling career that seemed to leave everyone smiling for hours… well months… to come. So, being the proud horned frog I am, I got all ready for game day this football season. Anyone frog football fan can tell you that this football season has been a wet one. Seemingly every home football game provided some sort of storm, torrential rain, or even light mist. Well with water comes slippery grounds. Happily as ever, I tied my bow in my hair, laced up my cheer shoes, and put on my freshly dry cleaned cheerleading uniform. To preface, each quarter of the football game, the cheerleaders rotate to different corners of the football field. We will start in one area and gradually (or not so gradually) make our way to the other side. This part of the game seems to always be a bit hectic. Either we are running into the tunnel for half time, running out of the tunnel for pre game routines, or simply moving from one end zone to another. All the while, we are making sure we have all of our water bottles in hand and haven’t left someone behind. We are far more focused on making sure we go to the correct part of the field that the media team so specifically explains each game. So, as with any ordinary day, the first quarter ends, and the rain begins. “Lovely,” I think to myself. Here comes the curly hair, running make up, and humid air. Little did I know, the last thing I needed to be worrying about was my hair. This quarter change, we had to move from the recruit section to the alumni section. This requires that we pass behind the player’s bench and run with haste to get there before the media breaks. Behind the players bench is a large crevice that seems to accumulate everything that a football game has to offer: rain, dirt, food, gum, you name it! That is precisely the area we were told to run through. Now without the rain this would have been no problem. But peppy as ever, I pick up my water bottle, begin to run toward the alumni section and then it happens… Just as I really get going, my feet suddenly come out from under me, and before I know it I am sliding on my stomach passed the entire bench. The players aren’t paying attention so they aren’t the concern. The fans, however, have the perfect view of me as I surf past them on my stomach through the water, dirt, and food in my uniform. I wish that I could better explain this visually, but just picture me starting from one end of the player’s bench and sliding on my stomach unable to stop myself all the way to the other side of the bench. That’s a long way! Just when I am thinking that no one saw, I look behind me to see my teammates, the ones that love me most, literally rolling on the ground out of laughter. This situation epitomizes the superiority theory. They felt so proud of themselves that they made it through the slush without wiping out only to see me hydroplaning. Not only was this superiority theory, but it was also relief theory. They initially laughed to cover up the awkward situation, but more importantly they thought I was seriously hurt for quite some time until I myself laughed to keep from crying. Once they knew I was ok and more importantly that I hadn’t been wearing one of their uniforms, they began to hysterically break out into laughter. For the rest of the game, I was soaking wet (not because of the actual rain), but because I simply could not make it through the game without one of my infamous wipeouts. I would love to say that this instance provided some simple instantaneous laughter; however, it is still providing laughter today… Some things people just don’t forget. Every time I wear that white bow, I see the mud that has still not come out. I am just thankful it is not on You Tube yet! Oh the life of a rookie… 

Learning Experience #3: Perseverance

Perseverance: the word that seemingly makes it into every aspect of my college life. Without it, the days would be tough, stressful, and overall hard to overcome; however, thanks to perseverance, we can look at life with positivity, triumph, and victory. Starting this summer, I moved into college several weeks early for cheerleading boot camp/work week. This week is one that the vets had warned us about since the day we tried out. Now how bad could it possibly be, right? Well, pretty bad. When I pictured cheerleading, I imagined the football games, rowdy crowds, excited players, and immense school spirit. What I forgot to think through was all of the pressure, hard work, and sweat that would go into making those dreams a reality. Starting day one of work week, we entered the indoor football stadium, just us rookies, and listened to our coach call out the different tricks she was wanting to see us perform. Well… just moments before that, my roommate and I (who is also a cheerleader) went outside to warm up in front of Einstein’s Bagels before having to perform in front of our coach. Upon my trying my first trick, I wiped out so hard it was almost as though I forgot how to do a flip. Traumatized by this experience we entered the practice gym and patiently awaited the instructions of our coach. Hoping that what I had done outside was just a fluke, I mustered up all my courage and began performing the skills she was asking of. After about 6 turf burns, 10 wipe outs, 3 pulled muscles and a whole lot of tears, I had persevered through day one. Surrounded by my fellow rookies all laced with fear and pain, we began icing our bodies and preparing for the campus run in 105 degree weather. Here at TCU, the cheerleaders have to compete for their spots on the field each week. We were overwhelmed by the beautiful, talented veterans making each skill look absolutely effortless. It was a week I will never forget. With exhausted bodies, 9-hour cheerleading workouts, and routines we struggled to remember, we had embarked on the week that would make the whole season worth it. Today, we laugh about the wipeouts, the tears, and the excessive confusion, but during that week we had no idea what was possibly going to get us through or whether we would even be on the team after the week was over. It was perseverance. As if this week wasn’t hard enough to handle as is, it was the first week we were meeting our new teammates, living with our roommates, operating the campus, and it was also rush week for sororities. We would wake up at 5 am., go through sorority recruitment, and have 9 hours of cheerleading on top of it all for an entire week straight. Immune systems began to shut down, muscles gave out, and injuries and past surgeries became fully re-aggravated. It was not out of the ordinary for someone to burst into tears out of pure sleep deprivation. Two summers ago, I began suffering extreme shooting pains in my left food. I had waited months to have it looked at, as I was weeks away from competing for Team USA in the cheerleading world championships. Upon my arrival back to Texas after the Worlds, I decided I would have my foot checked out. They had diagnosed me with a tumor, but mom asked that the doctors tell me it was a bone spur as to not scare me. They did just that, but the surgeons had instructed that I not tumble before the surgery to prevent inflaming the tendons. I decided otherwise. Just three days before the surgery, I was tumbling and snapped a ligament in my other ankle. Therefore, I ended up having surgery on both of my ankles on the same day. During the surgery, the doctor found 3 additional ligaments that had snapped, and my ankle joint had actually fallen open during the procedure. As my mom sat outside frantically wondering why I had been in surgery four hours longer than expected, she began to realize that this process was not going to be a quick fix. This had me wheelchair bound for quite some time. I had just transferred to a new school, and the timing was just a mess. I had wondered why the surgery had to be so urgent, but it all made when they informed me of my tumor. It was not until after the tumor was removed that I had been told the truth. As scary as it was to find out, I think it was one of the most incredible parenting decisions my mom has ever made to wait until after the tumor was gone to explain it to me. I am so thankful for that. Without removing the tumor, the doctors could not detect it for cancer. After being told about the tumor and remaining bed bound for what seemed like eons, I was told that I would not be able to try out for college cheer. This had been my dream for as long as I can remember, but thankfully my physical therapist saw the light that my surgeons seemingly did not. After hours of exercises, ultrasound therapy and prayers, I was ready for tryouts. Looking back on all of this today, I realize how vital it is to persevere. Without perseverance, I would not have been motivated to keep pushing when the pain was excruciating, I would not have been able to tryout, and I would not have made it through work week and the football season that followed. When work-week had concluded and it was time to announce the first field team of the 2013 football season, I awaited patiently as my coach read the names from the list: Canon Charanza. I had officially done it. Despite all of the people that said it wouldn’t be possible, I had made field for my first college football game at Cowboys Stadium. Go frogs, and persevere on.