Nice to Meet You, Essa! (Conversation #1)

Today, Kally and I met up with her conversation partner, Essa. Now, Dr. Williams, I am sure you may be wondering why Kally and I both went. Well, I had not gotten any feedback about a conversation partner, so Kally and I decided to test the waters together! One snowy day (today), Kally and I decided we would start our bicultural experience at union grounds. Due to the cold weather, I had gotten a good ole case of the flu. So, I visited the health center and rushed over to union grounds to be there in time. Well, after sniffling and sneezing my way to TCU’s coffee making mecca (or so I’d like to think), it turns out our pal Essa was running “a bit” late too. Now, normally running a few minutes late would be a “no big deal” type of situation, right? Well, our meeting was supposed to begin at four o’clock and end around 4:30; however, as Kally and I arrived promptly, we began to wonder where Essa might be. As we sat there smelling the lovely coffee aroma and sipping our java, we began to worry as minutes upon minutes passed by with no indication of his whereabouts. I also find it important to note that when we saw the name “Essa” we assumed we should be on the lookout for a female. This, we later found out, was not the case. At this point, Kally and I sat and collaborated as to when the appropriate time would be to either text Essa again or leave altogether. We decided that at 20 minutes we would text him again. Well, we finally got an answer back at 4:25. Essa had asked if we were there yet, but of course, we had already been there for half an hour. Finally, we saw a young man wondering around looking for someone. Alas, he had finally arrived three minutes prior to the time our meeting was supposed to conclude. When he sat down with us, he made no mention of the fact that he was so late. We simply started our conversation and pretended nothing had happened. This got me thinking: is being on time of value where he is from? I decided to look at this situation with cultural relativism assuming that prompt arrival is not thought of with as much importance in his country. Finally, we began our conversation with Essa. It turns out that Essa is from Saudi Arabia. Naturally, Kally and I sought to know all about the differences he had been experiencing. He said the most major difference was the weather. Apparently, he had been told that the average temperature was 95 degrees; however, that may apply in August but not so much in February. We had a good laugh about how it could be 75 one day and drastically switch to snow! Before coming to Texas, Essa spent some time at a community college in Portland. We asked him about his classes here, and he mentioned that in Portland his classes were much easier. Apparently, the classes here are much smaller, which he enjoys, but he said he got along much better with the teachers at the other college. We asked him about his family, and all he told us was, “I have a great dad.” He mentioned that he has siblings and such, but you could just see his face light up at the mention of his father. I found this very endearing and, in fact, it made me miss my dad quite a bit. So much so that my dad is coming down for a pizza date with me tomorrow! Haha! Thanks Essa! He then went on to tell us that in his hometown, his dad bought the house in the middle of the neighbor and proceeded to buy the house to the left and the house to the right to make it livable for his children when they finish with school. Naturally, this led us to ask him if he will be going back home after he finishes school. His response amazed me. He simply replied with, “I don’t know.” Now in my mind, this was absolutely astounding. Being as far away from home as he was, and he simply had no plans for what he would do later on. I thought really deeply on this for quite some time, and it inspired me a bit to be more open minded about my own future. Essa proved to me that it is ok to not have your life completely planned out at this very moment. He spoke a lot about having to pass classes in order to move on. Initially, I found this a bit odd, as it was almost as though he expected himself to fail. I began to understand a little better as he gave us a background of his previous schooling. My favorite part of the conversation occurred when he asked us to guess his age. He did look a bit older than most college students, so Kally and I put our thinking caps on and agreed that 25 would be our estimate. What was so cool was that he said, “Let me tell you a bit about myself,” before he would reveal his age to us. This guy has had quite the life! In Saudi Arabia, high school is only three years. Essa, however, had spent five. He retook the first and third year. This gave me a much better picture of why did not feel confident is his ability to sail through college and why not passing was a large part of his thought process. He then went on to tell us that he attended a college near his home for less than a year and realized he wanted to get a job instead. He went to work for trucking companies, oil companies, electric companies, and even as a fire fighter. He would explain that he worked for one place for about a year, “resign” and then go somewhere else. It was almost a bit unbelievable in a way. He even told us that one of his bosses didn’t take a liking to him at all and sent him to go work out in the desert where there was only sand dunes! This brought about a conversation of his wife. Hearing all of this, Kally and I were beginning to realize that our estimate of his age was pretty far off. We then found out that he has a daughter who is here with him in the states with him. She is three years old, and she is in “kindercare” while he is in class. By the end of our conversation, Essa revealed his age: 32. This whole time we sat thinking we were having a conversation with an 18-22 year old, but we were much mistaken! Overall, this experience was so enlightening, and just 30 minutes with Essa revealed his passion for life and his willingness to take chances and embrace the future. After all, we only have one life to live, why not make it an adventure, right?